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Vow Writing Formula

Updated: Mar 14

When you choose to include Personal Vows in your ceremony, the words you chose can be powerful. ((((So much pressure))))

Don't fret - I have a formula! Check out the examples below - and add your personal touches. Piece of cake, right?

Part 1: The Declaration of Love

A. Make a simple statement about who s/he is to you. For example:

"Aisha, you are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.”

"Matt, you are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

"Sam, you are my very best friend.”

"Bette, you are the wind beneath my wings"

B. Say a few things about why s/he’s so wonderful. Things like:

“You are kind and caring, and one smile from you brightens my whole day.”

“You are dependable, yet full of surprises, and you are beautiful inside and out.”

“You make me laugh, you make me think, you make me pancakes, and you make me happy.”

C. Tell him/her why you’re proud of them.

“I’m so proud of you and your commitment to your students. You are an inspiration to them and to me.”

“I’m in awe of your organizational skills and your tireless efforts to make our house a


“You’re the hardest worker I’ve ever known and I’m so thankful for your dedication

to our family.”

***Note: It can be great idea to include the things here that your partner loves about

themselves too. Being proud of their passions/talents/contributions will make them

feel amazing during the ceremony - and the warm fuzzies of acknowledgement can last a lifetime. ***

D. Now say you love him/her.

“I am completely and totally in love with you.”

“You stole my heart, and I want you to keep it forever.”

“I love you so much, and I can’t believe how lucky I am to be standing here with you


Nice work! On to the next part!

Part 2: The Promises

A. Make promises about what you will do for your partner. Think about the ways love shows itself, day in and day out…through support, trust, words, actions, gifts, time and attention. If you guys are religious, you’ll probably also want to include language about your faith. Here are some examples:

* “I pledge to accept you as you are, to respect you as an equal and to encourage your dreams and passions.”

* “I promise to be loving, patient and faithful. I will be the very best husband I can be

to you and the very best father I can be to Jacob and Taylor.”

*“In front of God and our friends and family, I promise to stand by you and to stand

up for you, to laugh with you and never laugh at you, and to do everything I can to

make you happy.”

B. Now think about some of the things you will do with your partner.

“With you, I’ll create a peaceful, happy home and a loving family.”

“I’ll be your partner on all of life’s adventures.”

"I look forward to our retirement - volunteering at the Rockies games, kicking punk

kids out of seats they didn't pay for"

C. Promise to be there in bad times as well as good…

“When you’re sad, I’ll comfort you, and when you’re happy, I’ll share your joy…”

“Through hard times and good times, through sickness and health, I’ll always be at

your side…”

“I will love you through sunshine and storms…”

D. For a very, very long time.

“…for all the days of my life.”

“…as long as we both shall live.”

“…for all eternity.”

(End of Vows)

Personal touches are just that - personal! What are the real life promises you want to make to your future spouse? Do you promise to keep your car clean? Pick one side of the bed? What simple act can you commit to doing/not doing that will make your partner's life better/easier?

Bonus: These personal touches usually get a chuckle from your guests/wedding party that know you well.

After you have a rough draft of your vows following this template, you may decide to combine, add or subtract some things. The important thing is to have wedding vows that are meaningful to you both and that will suit your relationship and the future you’ll build together.

Here are some helpful links:

Please Note: You do not need to memorize your vows. Print or write them out on index cards - or better yet, email them to me! I'll print them out and hand them over right when you need them.

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